How have I not gotten fired yet?

Seriously, it seems like every time I work with open flame something starts up. Sometimes it's not even open flame, I just somehow start it on fire with no sparks or flames.

The Circle of Life

I live in Arizona

My wants are simple

I try to live without wanting every neat thing there is. I have more than what I need.

If dinosaurs could bounce

Why I don't go running often

Poor Nicosaurus

I need to find a new hobby for Nicosaurus because no one has been pissing me off lately.