Dating Fails: Cool chicks don't need sleep

I've answered the phone mostly asleep before. I've returned text messages while fully asleep. I swear to The Flying Spaghetti Monster if any of you call or text me in the middle of the night to test this, I will murder your face.

Anyways dudes need to learn to give a girl some space. This didn't actually happen. I'm usually awake with the insomnia and all. I will still murder your face if you call me. I can sometimes get to a restful state and actually sleep.

No one should be this clingy. I'm clingy and this would send me running. I feel this way when a dude calls me everyday. Why would a girl want someone checking on her all the time?

Dating Fails: I REJECT YOU SIR!

Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE getting hit on. I usually won't tolerate it if I'm sober. "Why?" you ask. I have been in roller derby and had colored hair for all of my adult life. A lot of dudes treat me like a novelty instead of being genuinely interested.  There are a few rare times when a guy doesn't know my hobby, then I will allow him to flirt with me, to a point.

Theme Week: Dating Fails

Yup, I've collected enough dating fail doodles to have a whole week dedicated to it. I didn't post these at first because I did not want to insult the men they were dedicated to.  I've stopped talking to all of them for one reason or another.

One day, I hope that somebody will survive this dating madness so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Is it bad that my dating motivation is to not date anymore?

Why I'm not a size 6

My Halloween costume involves a leotard with some cutouts. Since I won't be able to hide any lumps and my stomach would be bare, I want a six pack. I decided yesterday that I would start writing down what I eat and cut some calories. I work out all the time already, I just need diet support. If I fail, I'll cut the leotard differently and be Shakira.  She's got some curves.

I feel that I should mention that I love my body the way it is. I'll love myself if I get bigger and I'll love myself if I get smaller. What matters to me is that I maintain a healthy lifestyle.

On Monday

Sometimes the only good thing about Monday is being alive.

Hey! Come smell this!

Sometimes I worry if my body wash is enough to combat the smell or if I need to some heavy duty mechanic's soap or something.

Why I quit online dating

This is not how to hit on a woman, guys.  Imagine saying that to a random woman in a bar. You would be pepper sprayed and then beat up by the big bouncer. 

On another note, if anyone knows any dudes that are single, funny and won't threaten to rape me, send them my way.