Leela and the Cat

 

I'm scared.

This cat wants to kill me and steal my dog.

Recipe Time: Vegan red chili!

I made tamales. It feels like I labored all day and only ended up with 19 tamales. Oh well, there are enough for me, my vegetarian aunt, and my curious family to enjoy. Since I won't even want to think about making tamales again until next December, I'm just going to share my recipe for the red chili filling I used which would also be awesome in burritos and enchiladas.

1 14oz container of Bacas Red Chili*
28oz water
2 tbs flour
2 tbs vegetable oil
2 portobello mushrooms
16oz Seitan (wheat gluten, I used two 8 oz boxes.)
Granulated garlic, salt and pepper to taste.

First you have some prep. Make sure your Bacas is defrosted by putting it in the fridge the day before. Your mushrooms will taste better if you gut them first by taking the stem off and scrapping out the black gilly stuff on the bottom. Slice your mushrooms very thinly and save for later and if your seitan is in a block and not in small pieces, you'll want to slice that too.  Heat up your oil in a sauce pot big enough for all of it. Add in your flour and mix well. Quickly add in your Bacas use the container and fill it up with water and swish it around to get the chili that stayed in there and poor it in the pot. You'll have to do the water twice to get the right consistency. Stir and bring to a boil. Season it up with your garlic, salt and pepper. Once it's boiling, bring down to a simmer and let it reduce to a saucy consistency. If it's not reducing, you have 2 options. Mom's option is to add more flour and hope it mixes without getting clumpy. Culinary school option is to add a cornstarch slurry. (You can stop here and have a rad enchilada sauce.) Once you have it your desired consistency, add in your seitan and mushroom. Let this simmer until the mushrooms are cooked and the sauce has reduce so it's not all liquidy.  You can now eat this however you like.

* Bacas is a brand I prefer but I don't think it's found outside of Arizona.  Bacas is found in the freezer section. You could try another brand or get some dried red chili pods and boil them in water and puree. You probably won't need the extra water if you go with that option.

I'm bringing sexy back

I guess they aren't that hard to find. I need a pair that won't fall apart when I play derby in them.  There are shorts that meet my specifications but they cost more than I'm willing to spend on them. I hope the shiny hot pants fairy reads my blog. Wink wink, nudge nudge. If she does, my butt is a size large.

Exactly how it happened

While eating a pancake for dinner, I found that one of my teeth caused me a slight amount of pain. I then had a complete overreaction. Then I drew this picture. Now I'm writing this blog. I'll probably go back to overreacting in a few minutes.

I can has vegan?

For the most part, I have tried to live a vegan lifestyle since April. It's not going to well. I've been managing to purchase vegan food but I get free food at work. I don't have the will to turn down the cheese sammich when the ingredients are sitting in front of me and all I have to do is assemble them and toss them on the grill. When it's in the grocery store, packaged up and costing money, I will say no. When it's looking at me saying, "Eat me!" I will say, "Heck yeah! Grilled cheese sammich! Ooh and a pickle."

Recipe Time!

You will need for this recipe:
1 T. vegetable shortning
3/4 C sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
3 T peanut butter
2 T ground flax seed
6 T water (The flax and water is the binder. You can use an egg if you don't think that they're gross like I do.)
1 T cocoa powder
1/4 C flour
1 C instant oatmeal
1/4 tsp baking powder

Cream together sugar and shortening. Once it looks mealy add in vanilla, peanut butter, flax and water. Mix until smooth. Add in everything else and mix until incorporated. Bake for about 20 minutes at 3:50.
Let them cool, grab a glass of soy milk and enjoy some noms.