Let's get specific

I missed him but then I remembered that I was unhappy with him. These are the reasons I was unhappy.  If I look at them out of context and don't think about the personal attachment I have to these, I think they are kind of funny. All of these happened on multiple occasions.

I wanted to play music again. I still want to but I hear his voice in my head when I start looking at instruments. I wasn't looking to be famous, I just wanted to have some fun and make friends. That's just one example of the awesome things I wanted to do.

In public, he was a caring partner.  He would hold a conversation, tell me that he loved me, and hold my hand when other girls checked him out. At home, all he would say is "meh."

This one happened quite often. At first I think he told me to make me jealous, but then the stories got more detailed and pushed further, to the point where he told me if I weren't around he would have gone for it.

It's was hard to believe him when he told me he loved me and I am beautiful when he acted like he didn't want me around.

I'll be talking to a friend and I will say something so negative about myself.  I didn't used to act this way. I thought about it and found the cause.  He's gone now, but he is still affecting the way I think and act.  I have started to force myself to see things in a positive light. I'm hot, I'm smart and I can do anything I want to.  I'm just going to keep saying that until I believe it.

Edit: These are a little exaggerated to get the point across, except for the Possessive one that one is straight up true, just paraphrased to make it apply to all of the conversations we had in that category.