Short dogs can't jump

Stupid Smart Dog

Leela is a genius. It's really annoying. 

I think Leela was a nurse in a past life, a really bad nurse.

My conscience

My conscience takes the form of a dinosaur. Who needs angels and devils? I have a brontosaurus.

Dating Fails: I'm too busy to date

I would bring a guy with me to my stuff but being ignored by me whilst being surrounded by stinky roller girls is not a great second date. I had some time in our off season but we're starting up again so all my free time to meet dudes is gone. :-( I'm awesome at making run on sentences and no I'm not going to fix them.

Dating Fails: Cool chicks don't need sleep

I've answered the phone mostly asleep before. I've returned text messages while fully asleep. I swear to The Flying Spaghetti Monster if any of you call or text me in the middle of the night to test this, I will murder your face.

Anyways dudes need to learn to give a girl some space. This didn't actually happen. I'm usually awake with the insomnia and all. I will still murder your face if you call me. I can sometimes get to a restful state and actually sleep.

No one should be this clingy. I'm clingy and this would send me running. I feel this way when a dude calls me everyday. Why would a girl want someone checking on her all the time?

Dating Fails: I REJECT YOU SIR!

Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE getting hit on. I usually won't tolerate it if I'm sober. "Why?" you ask. I have been in roller derby and had colored hair for all of my adult life. A lot of dudes treat me like a novelty instead of being genuinely interested.  There are a few rare times when a guy doesn't know my hobby, then I will allow him to flirt with me, to a point.

Theme Week: Dating Fails

Yup, I've collected enough dating fail doodles to have a whole week dedicated to it. I didn't post these at first because I did not want to insult the men they were dedicated to.  I've stopped talking to all of them for one reason or another.

One day, I hope that somebody will survive this dating madness so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Is it bad that my dating motivation is to not date anymore?

Why I'm not a size 6

My Halloween costume involves a leotard with some cutouts. Since I won't be able to hide any lumps and my stomach would be bare, I want a six pack. I decided yesterday that I would start writing down what I eat and cut some calories. I work out all the time already, I just need diet support. If I fail, I'll cut the leotard differently and be Shakira.  She's got some curves.

I feel that I should mention that I love my body the way it is. I'll love myself if I get bigger and I'll love myself if I get smaller. What matters to me is that I maintain a healthy lifestyle.